fuck.

the worst kind of thing just happened to me.

my camera is ruined.

i didnt want to go to school for only 1/2 hour today, so i slept in. hope jeffrey wouldnt be pissed.
and i was about to go to the temple to pray to my ancestors, about to step out of the house, when i decided that i am not really done with the computer.
so i left my bag on the small platform by the door and went into the room.
the platform, if you guys have been to my house and actually remembers it, is not super narrow and is quite a distance from the floor. and a million and one other people also put their bags there and nothing happened.
but why is it that when i do the same, my bag crashes to the floor?
my handphone and other gadgets are all alright, but the camera is spoilt. the lcd is ruined, and if i did not remember wrongly, the lcd cannot be repaired.
fuck. i am so freaking pissed.
and now, the whole world is blaming me, as if i willed the bag to drop.
even my mom, who was there the whole time and watched the bag crash to the ground, is also blaming me. can you believe how freaking pissed i am right now?
i didnt realise that the camera is spoilt until i was in the taxi home, cus i wanted to take the pictures of the driver for my photog class, and then, i had a shouting match with my mom in the taxi.
i was so fucked up that i didnt care if the driver was there. i almost wanted to cry then.
good thing that my gran is sitting between us, otherwise i bet my mom would give me one tight slap across my face. i was so pissed that when i alighted the taxi, i did not wait for them and just went home on my own.

so here i am now, pouring out my frustrations to the stupid lifeless computer.

i am pissed with myself for even allowing that to happen, with my parents for blaming me, and back at myself cus the camera costed a bomb. cus i am not sure if i can replace the camera for free. and cus i can't do my final assignment for photog class. i dont know how to tell bryan if i can't show him the 120 shots on thurs.

even listening to 'show me your love' didnt help.

thank god for gen, cus i was already msging her before that.
we are now pouring our woes to each other. thank god.
we are all frustrated people.

i am so suey. bad luck follows me everywhere. fuck.
and i am not called the emo queen for nothing.