yeah, like my title suggest, OH my ass. took that from terrence's nick.
OH as in Open House.
i guess it's supposed to be fun, and ya, i had about just an ounce of fun, cus i was too busy being emo today.

i dont know why, but i woke up feeling tired, as usual, and was kind of late for school.
but i arrived at school with eunice, only to find that bryan is not there. made me rush to school for heck. then we had to find sources of entertainment.
so we went to collect our tees and, however ugly it is, we had to wear it, so oh well, i just accept that. but eunice kept on going on and on about how ugly it is and stuff. i mean, when i was complaining, she kind of doubted me and then she kept on complaining. wierd.
then we wandered around like lost souls, cus we had about 2 and 1/2 hours to rot. good thing we saw bryan coming later and stuff.
showed him the pictures that i took and told him that i really anyhow take one, then he 'advised' me not to tell the lecturers that the works we are showing are anyhow one. basket.

anyway, i was feeling alright until about 2+, when janine and sophia came and stuff. i dont know why, but i became the emo queen.

i really wanted to be away from everyone in school, ok, maybe not everyone, but you get what i mean. i dont know why, but i was quite irritated with eunice, janine and sophia, maybe cus they were dilly-dally-ing and were making a din. i dont know what the real reason is,i became quiet and not smile and stuff. i mean, i dont look nice and all happy when i dont smile, so when i not smile and not talk, people starts to think that i am angry. fuck. then when people think that i am angry, i become kind of pissed. why cant it just be that i cant contribute in whatever conversation they were having and decided to just shut my trap?

anyway, we were supposed to be doing duty in the tv studio but they went to the design space to take the cards and brought them back to distribute them. i dont know why i am so uptight today, but i was kind of irritated that they weren't doing their parts. i even felt better talking to terrence than talking to them. and they kept on asking me to be the ghost in the demo, and i refused to. sophia and eunice didnt want to either, and kept pushing it to me. i know i will be majorly pissed if i were to take up that job, and that way, i would really become mad. but i was still pissed cus i saw the tired look on dongni's face and i couldnt do anything to help her. i felt guilty. i guess i was pissed with myself.

felt a little better after i went to the canteen to get a drink and mentos and went back to distribute it to them. but i swear that eunice, janine and sophia were kind of gossiping about me when i was gone. maybe they did not see me come back, cus there was a crowd there and i had to stand behind the board, but ya. maybe they were discussing why am i so emo, why i was being such a bitch and stuff. maybe i am just being paranoid but who knows.

after that, i became really wierd and stuff. like starts to talk crap and stuff. i really dont like that side of myself, cus i become really lame and say stuff that people might just think is stupid. i really hate it. i guess i should just keep quiet all the time, and just be depressed, like how simon used to percieve me as.

i guess i may have a phobia of humans. i dont know how to put this across, with so many thoughts all jumbled in my pea-sized brain. i prefer sitting here in front of my computer, listening to songs i love. this really cheers me up more than the different antics people use. i know this is really unhealthy but it works way better.

anyway, i am not trying to point fingers and blame anyone here. so dont take this personally if anyone whose name was mentioned chances upon this blog of mine, the insignificant one.

and enough of long stories. i shall end here.

Just call me the evil paranoid emo queen.